"What's lime disease?  Does that mean you're crazy?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Substitute (Episode 7F19)
%
"I'm going to eat chocolate 'til I barf!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart the Murderer (Episode 8F03)
%
"Yes, but what man can tame her?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Pony (Episode 8F06)
%
"And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa the Greek (Episode 8F12)
%
"He's still funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Kamp Krusty (Episode 8F24)
%
"My parents won't let me use scissors."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  I Love Lisa (Episode 9F13)
%
"So, do you...like...stuff?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  I Love Lisa (Episode 9F13)
%
"It says 'I Choo-choo-choose You,' and there's a picture of a train!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  I Love Lisa (Episode 9F13)
%
"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  I Love Lisa (Episode 9F13)
%
"What's a battle?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Whacking Day (Episode 9F18)
%
"You're deceptive."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	Treehouse of Horror IV (Episode 1F04)
%
"Wheee! ...ow, I bit my tongue!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart's Inner Child (Episode 1F05)
%
"I'm Idaho."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  $pringfield (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love
	  	Legalized Gambling) (Episode 1F08)
%
"My cat's name is Mittens."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Rival (Episode 1F17)
%
"What's a diorama?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Rival (Episode 1F17)
%
"I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Rival (Episode 1F17)
%
"I bent my wookie."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Rival (Episode 1F17)
%
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa's Rival (Episode 1F17)
%
Ralph:	"Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent."

Miss Hoover:
	"Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?"

Ralph:	"He was going to the bathroom."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (Episode 1F18)
%
"Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (Episode 1F18)
%
"Ow, my face is on fire!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart of Darkness (Episode 1F22)
%
"Somebody took my juice money!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart of Darkness (Episode 1F22)
%
"I won! I won!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa on Ice (Episode 2F05)
%
"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa on Ice (Episode 2F05)
%
"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy (Episode 2F07)
%
"I'm a boy!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Homie the Clown (Episode 2F12)
%
(At "tethered swimming")

"I don't feel right."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Homer vs. Patty & Selma (Episode 2F14)
%
Ralph:	"Miss Hoover? The floor is shaking."

Miss Hoover:
	"Ralph, remember the time you thought the --"
	[gusher explodes through the ceiling, taking Ralph with it]

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One) (Episode 2F16)
%
"Um, hi, Bart. I know you from school."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart Sells His Soul (Episode 3F02)
%
"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa the Vegetarian (Episode 3F03)
%
"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa the Vegetarian (Episode 3F03)
%
"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant
and they had to close the restaurant."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  King-Size Homer (Episode 3F05)
%
"Was president Lincoln okay?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Summer of 4 Ft. 2 (Episode 3F22)
%
"That is sooo 1991."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Simpson Tide (Episode 3G04)
%
"My neck hurts and my ear hurts. I have two owwies."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Simpson Tide (Episode 3G04)
%
"I'm pedaling backwards!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart After Dark (Episode 4F06)
%
"I heard a Frankenstein lives there!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart After Dark (Episode 4F06)
%
"Hi, Lisa! We're going to be in a pie!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Hurricane Neddy (Episode 4F07)
%
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw
one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Grade School Confidential (Episode 4F09)
%
"My knob tastes funny."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (Episode 4F12)
%
"I dress myself!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  My Sister, My Sitter (Episode 4F13)
%
"I think I wet my bed."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Brother from Another Series (Episode 4F14)
%
"Daddy, these rubber pants are hot."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Simpsons Spinoff Showcase (Episode 4F20)
%
"Look, big daddy, it's regular daddy."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Simpsons Spinoff Showcase (Episode 4F20)
%
"Maybe she drove to the moon."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Secret War of Lisa Simpson (Episode 4F21)
%
"Which one is oral?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Principal and the Pauper (Episode 4F23)
%
"No, Miss Hoover, I'm Ralph."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Principal and the Pauper (Episode 4F23)
%
"Which one is one?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Principal and the Pauper (Episode 4F23)
%
"Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Principal and the Pauper (Episode 4F23)
%
"Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Principal and the Pauper (Episode 4F23)
%
"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Principal and the Pauper (Episode 4F23)
%
"But you're suffering!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa the Simpson (Episode 4F24)
%
"Bye, witches! Thanks for not eating me!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Treehouse of Horror VIII (Episode 5F02)
%
"I'm special!" (twice)

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart Star (Episode 5F03)
%
"You're going to heaven!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart Star (Episode 5F03)
%
Ralph:	"Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."

Chief Wiggum:
	"Just relax and it'll come, son."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa the Skeptic (Episode 5F05)
%
"Go, banana!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Das Bus (Episode 5F11)
%
"I ated the purple berries"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Das Bus (Episode 5F11)
%
"It tastes like ... burning"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Das Bus (Episode 5F11)
%
"I found a moon rock in my nose!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"Hey, I know you, my daddy took your beer."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"Your hair is tall, and pretty!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"Help! She's touching my special area!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"My toys are all sticky." {nr}

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"He's gonna smell like hot dogs."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  This Little Wiggy (Episode 5F13)
%
"Maybe it's presents for all of us!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Natrual Born Kissers (Episode 5F18)
%
"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lard of the Dance (Episode 5F20)
%
"This snowflake tastes like fishsticks."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lard of the Dance (Episode 5F20)
%
"Is this my house?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa Gets an "A" (Episode AABF03)
%
"She's gonna say my name!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa Gets an "A" (Episode AABF03)
%
"Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Lisa Gets an "A" (Episode AABF03)
%
"Somebody should iron you."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Wild Barts Can't Be Broken (Episode AABF07)
%
"Look, Daddy, a whale egg!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Make Room for Lisa (Episode AABF12)
%
"You're King David! I love you 'cause you kill people."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Simpsons Bible Stories (Episode AABF14)
%
"Intercourse?"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Old Man and the "C" Student (Episode AABF16)
%
"Daddy says I'm _this_ close to sleeping in the yard."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  They Saved Lisa's Brain (Episode AABF18)
%
"And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Brother's Little Helper (Episode AABF22)
%
"At my house, we call them 'Uh-Oh's.'"

	--Ralph Wiggum, referring to fires
	  Brother's Little Helper (Episode AABF22)
%
"Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  E-I-E-I-(ANNOYED GRUNT) (Episode AABF19)
%
"I can't breathe good and it's making me sleepy."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Faith Off (Episode BABF06)
%
(Pointing at Homer)

"Mommy has bosoms like that."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Alone Again, Natura-Diddily (Episode BABF10)
%
"Mr. Flanders, you're blinded-ed."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart to the Future (Episode BABF13)
%
"I fell out two times."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Bart to the Future (Episode BABF13)
%
"Teacher, my shoes are making noise."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Last Tap Dance in Springfield (Episode BABF15)
%
"My daddy shoots people!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Last Tap Dance in Springfield (Episode BABF15)
%
"Lisa's bad dancing makes my feet sad."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Last Tap Dance in Springfield (Episode BABF15)
%
"I ate too much plastic candy."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Last Tap Dance in Springfield (Episode BABF15)
%
(After being soaked in fake blood)

"I look like cable TV!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  The Great Money Caper(Episode CABF03)
%
"Sim-Sim likes to boogie."

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Homer vs. Dignity (Episode CABF04)
%
"Mr. Army Man, I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Skinner's Sense of Snow (Episode CABF06)
%
(After seeing the comic store's "Adult Section")

"Everybody's hugging!"

	--Ralph Wiggum
	  Worst Episode Ever (Episode CABF08)